Facing a diagnosis.

What do you do when you face a diagnosis?

My first inclination was to freak out and question why God? There was a lot of tears and yelling. I didn’t know what to think. Was it the choices I made in my past that led to me receiving my diagnosis? I started questioning if I would have done this better, or not put myself into this situation would I be healthy.

When none of this was making sense to me, our Pastor at the time asked if anyone needed prayers for healing to stay at the altar after taking communion and she would pray over us. I stayed up there and cried like a baby. I received the prayer in agreement for my healing and felt a voice say to me, ‘Just walk with me’. A baby believer at the time I had no idea what that meant, but it felt like there was a warm hug that went along with it. I knew this was my Jesus telling me that even though I had diagnosis on my chart, He was going to be with me through this all.

There are a few versus that I lean on when I start to resent my diagnosis. These are the things that I remind myself when I question, “why am I the one, who has to give myself shots in order to stay healthy?”

2 Corinthians 12:9 tells us God is that much stronger in us when we are weak.

“Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” (NLT)

“My power works best in weakness.” This is all the more reason to lean into Christ when we are feeling weak. I believe that God entrusted me with this diagnosis so that His power could be portrayed through me. Think of a flashlight. The darker it is in a room the better the flashlight will work. If you have a dull flashlight where the batteries are almost dead, it won't shine very bright in a room unless there is complete darkness. However, turn the lights off and the light will shine bright.

When people find out that I have this diagnosis. They are often times amazed, because I ‘look’ healthy. This could be the fortunate side of MS, that a lot of the symptoms are internal. I am not one to dwell on the negativity. When I don’t feel well, I know that God has got me so this is just a temporary set back in His plan.

“So that the power of Christ can work through me.” When someone asks me how I stay so positive about my diagnosis, I get excited. Our stories are such a big part of who we are and the ultimate way for us to point people towards Jesus. When we share our story with someone else, they cannot take it from us because it is ours. I share with people I am able to stay happy because I know one day God will cure me. I know there will be a day, when I can throw my needle clipper away. I'll be able to stay in the sun for hours, without fear of my sight being compromised. This is the power of Christ working through me.

When I question what the good is in my diagnosis, Romans 8:28 reminds me that, there is good in every situation, we face in life.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (NLT)

When I read this verse it reminds me that there is an ultimate goal in every trial that I face because I am a child of God. There are some things that happen to us because of our own doing. I have been told “We are not punished for our sins but we are punished, by our sins”. Our choices have consequences and we ultimately have to deal with the repercussions of our actions. Then there are times when sucky things happen in our lives, but we have to see the big picture. We have to remember that God has already been to the end of our story. He knows how this is all going to end. We have a good Father in heaven that wants to see us succeed in every possible way. I stand firm on this promise that God is going to be with me on my journey.

“Thy will be done.” Luke 22:42 has been my life verse, for the past few years.

“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done”. (NIV)

There is a saying that we make plans and God laughs. We can plan and prepare all we want, but God has the ultimate say on how our life is going to play out. I know I have someone who is looking out for me in Heaven. He is going to take care of me. There is a reason why He wants me to have this diagnosis. There is someone I can tell my story to or help along their journey. Where this will all be worth it, in the end to Him. Matthew 18:12 tells us, “God leaves the 99 in order to save, His one lost sheep.” Each one of us is that, important to Him. That he is RELENTLESS on chasing after us.

Often times you have to dig into scripture to find truths that will help with your specific symptoms. We can feel defeated when we feel like there is no one out there that can relate to us. There is a common symptom among us with this diagnosis called the MS hug. I love hugs, but this is not that type of hug. It is a feeling where you have the tightest rubber band around your chest, making it difficult to breathe. When I feel this I inhale deeply and exhale, knowing it is the breath of life that I am taking in.

Job 33:4, “For the Spirit of God had made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.”

In Genesis 2:7 we learn that when God first formed man “He breathed the breath of life into man.” When I feel like this diagnosis is squeezing the breath out of me I shut it down by taking in a deep inhale. I hold it in, thanking God for this breath of life and exhale knowing that He will supply me with another breath.

I believe that this is why the Bible is a library of books. It is there so we can find verses that we can cling to at the exact time that we need them. Dig into your bible! Ask questions to those that are further along in faith than you. Find those truths that you can hold onto, that will get you through hard days. Post them in your house as constant reminders of how good our God is. Joshua 1:8 tells us to, “Meditate on the word day and night so that, it will not depart from our lips.” Stay encouraged and know that our God is there for you as you receive your diagnosis or unexpected bad news. May the peace of God be with you as you journey through this difficult time.

Walk day information

The MS Walk is back at Minnehaha Falls this year! That means dogs are welcome to join us. I am super excited and praying for nice weather. We do the short route and walk. You are welcome to go the longer route or run if you are really ambitious! There are lots of activities to do at the event that are listed below.
Please be at Minnehaha Park by 8:15AM. Make sure you allow yourself enough time for the shuttle and registration once you are in the park.  

We will take our team picture promptly at 8:45AM!!

Parking is very limited at the park so your best option is to use the shuttles they offer form the VA Parking lot. Once you register we will meet at the picnic tables. You will see the Susie's Stars signs and that is where we will take our team picture. 

Here is all the information you will need about the walk on Sunday, May 6th, 2018.

• Start/finish location: Minnehaha Park
  4801 S Minnehaha Dr
  Minneapolis, MN 55417 
• Event Timeline:
  Check-in: 8am-10am
  Photo booth: 8am-10am - come ready to take lots of pictures that will be printed on-site by Selfies to Go!
  Kids Zone: 8am-10am - face painting, tattoos, and more!
  Raffle: 8am-11:30am - don’t need to be present to win, make sure to bring cash!
  Opening ceremony: 9am
  Mass start: 9:15am
  Everyone needs to be off route: 11:30am
• Kids Zone: Back by popular demand! The Kids Zone will feature playful clowns from Clowns Across the River, face painting, Walk MS tattoos, coloring pages and hair coloring by Accolades.
• Directions: https://goo.gl/maps/PomV9uAQyzL2
• Parking: Parking will be available on the north side of the Minneapolis VA Health Care System located at 1 Veterans Dr., Minneapolis, MN 55417.
  
  Shuttles will begin transporting participants from the VA parking lot to Minnehaha Park at 7:30am. The last shuttle will leave the park at 12:30pm. There will be a total of eight shuttles transporting participants. 

Wear your Susie's Stars shirt or something ORANGE!
Excited to see y'all on Sunday!

MS Walk 2018

Walk MS Twin Cities will be BACK AT MINNEHAHA FALLS PARK AGAIN THIS YEAR!! BRING YOUR PUPPIES!!

Click HERE to be directed to Susie's Stars team page so that you can donate or join our team and walk with us on Sunday May 6th, 2018!

*Let me know if you would like to purchase a "Susie's Stars" MS Walk shirt.  If not just wear ORANGE!*


On Sunday, May 6th, 2018, I will join thousands of others in a movement to end multiple sclerosis by participating in Walk MS 2018. When you walk with us or make a gift to the National MS Society, you support research and local services to those affected with this unpredictable disease.

Every hour someone is diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, a chronic disease of the central nervous system for which there is no cure.  Multiple sclerosis interrupts the flow of information between the brain and the body and stops people from moving.  Many have trouble imagining what their lives would be without the ability to move, but I know the effects of MS personally.   

My symptoms began in December of 2008 with my face itching uncontrollably.  I ruled out allergies to the products I was using on my face as well as food allergies and just began to live with this itching.  In January 2009 I was driving home from work when suddenly I got an extreme headache.  It felt like someone was stabbing me on my left temple with a hot pitch fork.  I began to cry and had to pull over because I couldn’t stand the pain.  I sat on the shoulder on highway 94 with cars speeding past me, rocking back and forth and rubbing the left side of my head to try and get it to go away.  I called my husband who was leaving work at that time so he pulled up right behind me on the freeway.  We sat there for a little while and the pain subsided enough that I was able to drive the rest of the way home with him behind me to make sure I was OK.  The next day I awoke to the left side of my face being numb.  I called my doctor and she suggested that I go directly to the emergency room.  After several tests that evening the ER doctor’s were thinking I had Multiple Sclerosis, but he could not make an official diagnosis.  He referred me to a neurologist at that point.  Several doctor visits later along with lots of pokes, prods and tests finally confirmed that I have MS in February, 2009.  I was told things would never be the same for me and I was going to have to find a way to live with this disease.  What!    Me?    Why?

I was told that research has come a long way over the years and that people are able to live full lives as long as they take care of themselves.  I made the decision right away to go on a preventative medication, Copaxone.  I was very nervous to start this treatment because the only way you can take it is to inject it into your body every day.  All I thought about was I have a husband and at the time we just had my son and I was going to do this to keep myself healthy.  I did go off of the treatment for about one year so we were able to have our daughter, but I have since gone back on the treatment and had to endure these injections every single evening.  

I visit with my neurologist at the end of every summer so he can order some blood work and see how I am doing with the disease.  In the fall of 2015 I entered just like I always do, “So, Doc. . . When can I get off these shots?”  I usually get the same response every year, “They are working right.  Let’s not fix what isn’t broken.”  I was getting so tired of doing the shots everyday and feeling like a pin cousin so I pressed a little more this time.  Then the best news ever came across his table, I could be switched to every other day shots and remain on Copaxone.  They recently came out with a longer lasting medicine that only needs to be injected three times per week.  Yes that is right!!!  I only need to poke myself 3 times a week instead of every single day of my life!  Reuben was a little hesitant about switching the medicine up in fear that I would have a flare up, but I was willing to take the risk.  I got started on the new shots within a month of that visit and I still feel great!  

I continue to walk with the hopes of having a cure one day and to be able to go off all medications and injections.  This is why I want to raise money for the MS Society.   

Overall, MS had not had that big of an effect on my body.  I forget, itch, go numb, drop things, stumble and get dizzy, but that is few and far between.  I have triggers that bring these attacks on so I have learned to avoid those things.

Susie’s Stars was started in 2011 with a team of 18 walkers and we raised $1,296.50. 

 
In 2012 we walked again with a team of 64 walkers and raised $4,439.00.

We gathered again in 2013 and had 55 human walkers and 1 dog.  Together we raised $6,851.00.

In 2014 we had 50 human walkers and 1 dog.  We contributed $2,718.58 all for the MS Society.

In 2015, we had our biggest team EVER!  We has 79 people and 2 dogs walk with us.  Our team raised $5,047.29!!

In 2016 we had 32 people and 4 dogs join us for Walk MS.  Together we raised $3,267.00.

In 2017 they moved the walk indoors to US Bank Stadium. The weather was not favorable so to have it inside wasn't that bad, but our puppies were sad they couldn't walk with us. In 2017 we had 36 walkers and raised $3,545.00!

As you can see, I have a personal stake in this particular event.  Not only do I want to help find a cure for myself, but also the other people diagnosed with MS who live in the Upper Midwest Chapter area.  I know these walks make a difference because when I was first diagnosed treatment options were so few.  Now I am able to do shots just three times a week instead of every day.  This is what the money goes for so maybe, one day I won’t have to do another shot EVER!

MS is a disease that affects the central nervous system. Some symptoms of MS may include loss of balance, impaired vision and hearing, fatigue, muscle weakness and, in some, paralysis. Even simple everyday living skills become increasingly difficult. Everyone is affected differently by these symptoms.

Click HERE to be directed to Susie's Stars team page so that you can donate or join our team and walk with us on Sunday May 6th, 2018!

Thank you in advance for your support. Please call me if you have any questions or comments about Walk MS. I can be reached at 763-464-3011.