There are some days when I forget that I even have MS until it is time for my injection. I am thankful for these days. There are other days where I am not so lucky. You never know what the day will hold for you when you have this disease. The most you can do is go with the flow and start each day thinking it will be a great day.
Over the weekend I went to the flower show with my daughter, my mom and my niece. We were getting ready to leave so we got Makayla in her stroller and headed for the elevator. To my surprise, she HATES elevators. We only had two floor to go up so I leaned down and hugged her to try and sooth her. You can feel the elevator go up and then down suddenly and you know that you have arrived at a floor where someone wants to get off. It threw me off balance for a second, but I was able to quickly recover. We got off of the elevator and I had to put her sweater on so we could get to the car inside the parking garage. I bent over so that I could zip up her sweater and I had that feeling like I was on the elevator again. All of a sudden my feet felt like I was in a jump house and I was loosing my balance fast. I stood back up fully and tried to compose myself. I thought, that was weird, but knew I had to get her sweater zipped. I leaned back down to try and complete this task and there was that squishy floor again, oh no I am going to fall! I stood up and was so thankful for the wall that was next to me. I grabbed it so that I could again gain composure. Finally, I swallowed my pride and asked my niece to zip her sweater for me. My mom asked me what was wrong and I couldn't explain it. She asked if I was dizzy, but I wasn't dizzy. It felt as if the floor was being shaken underneath me. The car ride home I had a slight headache and had to look forward or I felt like I was going to get sick. Once we got home I felt fine for the rest of the day.
Today it is Easter and we are celebrating Jesus rising from the dead. We had a fantastic dinner planned at my moms house and we had a few of our family members there. I was clearing off the table so that we could set the table for this great meal. I grabbed a ceramic Easter bunny off the table and took one step to put it in the other room. I had no idea it was even slipping out of my hand until I hard it crash to the floor in 20 pieces! DAMN IT!! I rub my hand within itself and I can see that it is numb. Sometimes I don't realize that they have gone numb because it happens so fast. I can have complete and total feeling in my hands one minute and the next they are numb. I rubbed them for a few minutes and the feeling comes back in them.
I take things day by day, minute by minute, second by second. . . . In life you never know what the future will hold for you. In MS you never know what kind of a day you are going to have. I am trying so hard to not get down on myself when my body fails me, but it can be so damn frustrating. For now I will take things day by day.
No comments:
Post a Comment